Six Weeks Later

It’s been six weeks since a surgeon sliced me open and birthed my daughter for me. I’m still in pain. More pain than one should be in at this point, per the obstetrcian. So I must continue to “take it easy.”

Oh, I’ve taken it easy, alright. I’ve sat on my butt and nursed my babe and shoveled absurd quantities of food into my mouth for six weeks. My body, which had been so hungry and malnourished during my pregnancy, is making up for lost time.

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I took this pic in Target two days ago because I was shopping while both babywearing and breastfeeding like a Mom Boss. But... Can we talk about those fat rolls first?

I didn’t gain much during the pregnancy — 15 or 16 pounds total — but I’m back at the weight I was when I was admitted for May’s induction birth. I’d lost almost all of it pretty soon after I was discharged — between water weight, baby, and placenta — and I’ve gained every ounce back in just six freaking weeks. How did I let this happen?

I’m feeling hella sorry for myself these days because I still can’t function normally without being in pain. Just grocery shopping wears me and my poor uterus out. I’ve attempted some power walking but regretted it immediately afterward. I am not even close to starting my Sara Haley 4th Trimester workout program or [sob] running anytime soon.

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I power walked on the park trail two weekends ago. It wrecked me.

The sadness and laziness and the craving sweets and the sleep deprivation… It’s all a recipe for obesity. I’ve been caught in this perfect storm before and ended up at 220 pounds, justifying every bad food choice I made by saying, “I’m breastfeeding; I need the extra calories!” or “I just had a baby; I deserve a break!”. Since I’m recovering from the trifecta of: difficult pregnancy, long Pitocin-induced labor, and major abdominal surgery, I will cut myself some slack. But just a little. Cutting myself generous chunks of slack is doing me no favors.

So I’m calling it. Enough is enough. I may not be able to move the way I want to yet, but I can start doing 10-minute walks here and there, and pelvic floor exercises. I can choose fruits and vegetables over cookies. I can stop putting junk in the grocery cart. I can go to bed earlier (I type this at nearly 11:00 at night with a sleeping baby next to me; I have literally no excuse for still being awake since she’s already down). I can do these things. I have done them before. This blog is titled “Mama’s Lost It” because that’s what I did — I lost the weight (it also a reference to how nutballs bananarama crazypants I am so the name serves dual purposes, but I digress).

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THIS is what I'm capable of looking and feeling like.

I will make my very best effort to post weekly updates here to hold myself accountable. You can also follow me on Instagram at @see_mama_run or join me in this DietBet (I’m Suzanne T) to lose 4% of your body weight in the month of September.

So, here we go — Mama’s losing it! Again!